No purpose | confusedsadlonely's Blog

I like having a purpose in life, right now i dont have a purpose. I'm not doing anything. I'm stuck and i dont konw how to break free. What can i do? My life is going from bad to worse. I have no one to talk you and so i write. No one knows how i feel. I feel like no one i have in my life understands depression. If i said i was depressed, they would laugh awkwardly because they just dont understand it. I dont understand it myself. One minute i'm fine, the next i'm flooded by these awful feelings of dread, hopelessness, like a black cloud covers up my whole perception of life. I'm a kid, well not kid anymore, more like a young lady now. I should be out enjoying my life, i should be happy. but as much as i try, i just cannot seem to be able to do it. I find myself crying myself to sleep. last week i was so desperate to talk to someone, to explain my situation that i actually looked up a depression hotline and almost called . I know that it's not my fault but i feel pathetic. I try to see the good in my life, but everytime i admit i have some good in my life too, everytime i try to look at the positive aspects of life, it's like someone/something comes around and takes it away. i cant think positively anymore, i just can't. All i think about is what i'm not, what i could be, what i should've been. I'm tired and i'm tired. Waking up everyday to the same thing is tearing me apart. i need help but i dont know how to ask. At least writing this helps a little. talking to myself always helps, but i wish i had someone to talk to. the truth is i'm lonely, and i just want to be happy.

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Previous Posts
Releasing feelings through poetry, posted May 14th, 2014
i guess im sad, posted December 20th, 2013
so tired of it all, posted August 22nd, 2013
Just words, posted June 6th, 2013
Lonely Ghost, posted June 6th, 2013
How to be happy when no one is happy., posted May 5th, 2013
Don't let me go, posted April 22nd, 2013
No purpose, posted November 7th, 2012
I dont belong, posted August 3rd, 2012
Let's talk about love, posted July 22nd, 2012
sad and lonely, posted July 19th, 2012
I feel so alone, posted July 21st, 2010

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